Advice On Content - Not So Much On Design

[sentientsystem]

hey guys, i've created a few "gag-sites", to redirect people to, for various reasons, such as http://whiny.me/

 

what i'm NOT happy with, is the wording of the "self-help plan". i feel it's a little on the "dark" or "violent" side, but i still want it to be whitty and sarcastic and clever. does any one have any ideas as to how to pull it off? thanks.

[Andrea]

I don't have any thoughts on how to help you with the wording, but until you find something you like better, I can at least help you with the spelling:

 

yYou have reached this page, because you are whiny, and some one someonewanted to make sure you were aware of it.

 

whiny.me is a public service announcement from evve.me,. iIn an effort to make the internet more aware of how whiny you really are., you should thank the person who sent you here for caring enough to help you.

 

 

 

wWhat can i do to fix it?

wWe understand that it is difficult to be so whiny, and that your life must be miserable. wWe empathize with you, we truly do. becauase Because we are such compassionate beings, we will take the time to help you stop being so whiny. sSimply follow the evve self-help plan:

 

1. place your right hand onto the left side of your upper abdomen / chest area
2. take a few deep breaths and relax for a moment
3. pay special attention to that weird throbbing sensation you now notice under your hand
4. apply a large amount of pressure, and maintian maintain that pressure, until the throbbing stops - if you are not large enough to be able to apply enough pressure, you may need to borrow your mother - if you were abandoned as a child, you can just use "the plastic bag approach" or "the human frogger approach"

if your condition is that of extreme whinyness whininess, then you may need to repeat these steps. thank you for doing your part in the effport effort to make the internet a better place for the rest of us.

 

 

our self help plan has helped many lames, just like you, as shown here

 

pass this on to those in need

 

 

copy and paste any of the links below to pass this on to some one someone you know. the "pages" text is a an HTML link you put in a web page; the "forums" text is a BBCODE LINK that you use in discussion forums.

 

 

I didn't make all these corrections, but in general, the first letter of the first word of a new sentence should be capped.